floating

2006/08/14

I Floated Alright

This shit I’ll write now will be totally trivial, but I have to write it because it could easily be the last thing I write.
Some crazy shit is happening to me lately and I feel my life is getting dangerous. Something exciting for a change you may think, but it's not that cool when it's your life.

Danger zone # 1 I went to my hairdresser
Yeah imagine, I mean a lot of women would agree with me this is dangerous especially if you intend to dye your hair, what if it turns out to be green, what if it falls off??!!
Ok I chose…come on guess what color...well I chose red. I always use different shades of red. The one I had now was orange red, quite bright; I thought something cheerful for these summer days. But the new one was called wine red and it was kind of’ dark, maybe too dark if one is still hoping for some nice warm summer weather in spite all the cold and rain we have lately (unbelievable…it’s august, come on some of the people are still hoping for a vacation fling). By the way all the weather information better go under a danger factor #1.
Danger zone #2 for me would be the location of my hair dresser that lives TOO close to my father-in-law. They’re neighbors. So every time I’m there I HAVE TO go for a coffee to my in-laws. And we always end up argufying.
Danger factor #2 me on foot.
Danger factor #3 is my laziness that keeps me from taking a longer way.
Danger factor #4 my brain that has stupid solutions when in need to overcome an obstacle. Like if the path is closed we should go other way around, no, no, we should climb the unstable fence. Yes that’s the right idea. I try to do so but danger factor #5 comes in handy now – my weight. It’s not that bad, but it can be mortal when added to all the previous factors. And the crucial moment: I have my right foot on this side and my left foot on the other side of the fence, I hear a little click, behold people: this creature can fly, it has no wings I forgot, therefore a high fall. Silence. And then hysterical laughter. Partially because I realized how much embarrassing my danger factor #4 is, partially because I was happy to be alive and in still in one piece and partially because this way the only way to forget about all the bruises for a second.
What follows the rational order in this irrational piece are moments of embarrassment. I already stated my moment of embarrassment #1 it was when I realized how stupid I was, how lucky and started laughing. Moment of embarrassment #2 was when my brother-in-law woke up from the shock and started to realize what just happened (he witnessed the whole thing) he laughed even more, we laughed till tears were running down our cheeks. Two results followed that #1 my pain of a fall #2 my stomach ache which was a result of all the laughter and was climaxed when I wanted to talk, to explain what had just happened, but I couldn’t stop laughing, so I was struggling with laughter and words and it led to some form of choking. I gave up and just laughed all the way to danger zone #3 my in-laws house. Then followed moment of embarrassment #3 (it contained also a moment of embarrassment #4) which I didn’t expect to present it self so quickly: the rest of the in-laws who were sitting quietly in the house rushed to me the second I opened the door (but how, they couldn’t see me?). I turned out that one of them saw my acrobatic show through the window and then told all the others, which brought a lot more laughter. Since all this wasn’t enough (embarrassment factor #1) my jeans were torn, and by that I mean very torn let just say that all the members of my boyfriends family except my boyfriend saw my thigh that day.
But what I’m grateful is that my trousers are as dependable they refused to show them my buttocks. I’m happy I left only with some bruises (all of my organs in place), torn trousers (that were kinda’ old), cut finger, hurt pride, a lot of laughter and tons of embarrassment (not witnessed by my hairdresser). Another great thing is that I won’t have to deal with my father-in-law for a while now, since he saw me, he hopefully won’t bug me to visit him. And most important my new hair color looks great on me. I think it’s a keeper. I knew only good could come out of this ;)

posted by calamity @ 8/14/2006 07:38:00 pm

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