floating

2006/08/10

Saviour

How I hate the fact that you still don't know me. How I hate the fact you think I’m some kind of a player. And how I hate the fact that you don’t know that honesty is all one gets from me.
Don’t judge. Don’t judge the things unknown to you, the things you shut your eyes from, the tings you don’t let close to you. It hurts too much when you imply I could do the things you hate the most. I hate that you are making this person out of me. I hate you turning me into something you hate. I hate you for even considering I could be this way, that I could do this.
Yeah sure I COULD. But you know me better…don’t you?
Don’t insult me!
I’m no player. You wish I would be.
It is me and if you think I’m full of shit then say it into my face. Make it my sweet death. As always I am willing to accept the blame for anything that went wrong, but thy who made a sin shall carry the guilt.
For me it’s all just words. If you need to label me, do so, if you need a scapegoat, I’m here. Words don’t hurt me what hurts is what will come out of this, but then again I know that I know myself and people who truly love me do so as well and I do not care for the others.

Take it out on me then, I’ll sacrifice myself, I’ll be your Jesus. On the cross I shall suffer, and sweat shall mix with blood, salty-sweet taste shall intrude my mouth. Sad my eyes will be, big tears shall be born that day. Not the fear of the death will bring them.
Does this life need to be taken in order for you to set peace in your soul? Will this be enough? Is my sacrifice for nothing?
If by this all shall end and since now no blood shall be shed then be it. Let us make a feast beneath the cross where my limbs are being torn by the heavy nails and the power of the mass.That sea of tears that I’m leaving you in only my uncertainty of your future.

posted by calamity @ 8/10/2006 07:49:00 pm

4 Comments:

At 10/8/06 8:16 pm, dusio said…

amazing blog. you are an incredible writer. i will definitely have to check this blog often.
At 11/8/06 11:01 am, calamity said…

tnx man, i'm flatered
you'e welcome to visit and comment and criticise
i'm happy that somebody is actually reading this shit.
keep in touch ;)
At 18/9/06 11:23 pm, Anonymous said…

I read it, too ... asking myself who is Jesus to you.
At 19/9/06 8:31 am, calamity said…

not something i expected from this post, but ok i can answer it. i'm agnostic: i don't believe in any god in particular and i don't deny its existance. so jesus for me at this point is most likely a historical figure because i can't say for sure he is gods son i'm talking about him only as a normal human being but i don't deny he could be son of god.
i hope you understood my answer it is the best i could do. if not, be welcome to ask me more specific.
enjoy
;)