floating

2006/06/06

writing on a piece of paper towel

How pathetic is this? I think of thousands of things to write while mowing the lawn. Pictures cross my mind and I don’t think I can finish my job if I don’t write the thoughts down. I would hate myself if I forgot them - the thoughts suffocate me while minding my everyday business.
I’m so happy to finish my choirs cos’ I know that now I can put my thoughts to paper they won’t be lying in my brain anymore. I could speak them out, share them with you and make you carry my burden.
But I am here in this place where there is nothing to write with nor to write on. I go to my car that is usually full of all kinds of bullshit (things that shouldn’t be there) and there was no paper no pen anything that could help me to write. But hez I don’t give up. I go to the weekend house and there I see the paper towels staring at me begging to use them as something no one has use them before.
Yeah sure but I still need something to write with. I open a drawer and grab everything that could write. I’m really excited because amongst a pencil and two pens there are also red, blue and grey markers and they would be perfect cos’ they wouldn’t tear the paper towel.
Finally I try to write, but the markers are barely seen and of course as coursed they DO tear the paper towel. What now? The words want to get out the pressure is rising I see the bread on a piece of paper. PAPER! Yes! I use the paper towels and put them under the bread instead of the paper. Now it is time to use one of the pens and they both tear the paper. All that I got left is this pencil, not a normal one though: it’s the pencil that workers use to write on wood it is usually red on the outside but it leaves a grey trail and it is hard to write with because of it’s square shape, but I really have to manage it.
I write, I write about the silliest stuff – just to fill the paper. I write this bullshit although I have so many other and more important things to write about, things that are killing me inside. I WRITE ABOUT WRITING! STUPID! And by doing so I let things bother me further on. And I still write till I run out of paper, I write about whatever as long as I write and as long as the paper isn’t long enough and as long as I can keep suffocating thoughts inside of me - I’ll write them down, I will, but they demand a longer piece of paper, more patience and more time.
And I’m out of paper…

posted by calamity @ 6/06/2006 07:23:00 pm

2 Comments:

At 6/6/06 8:10 pm, Яαgιи Яαvєи said…

Hez,
well.. don't worry I won't be suggesting any brands of toilet paper or anything, but I would only like to say that it's impressive to see how you managed to strive to find something to write with and on..
Umm.. I'll make sure I'll get you an PDA on your next birthday!!

Excellent expression of thought.
At 7/6/06 1:32 pm, calamity said…

yes
hmm
i'm not sure i want a pda it's more personal if you write on the last piece of paper it has more value even if it is a paper towel and when you get bored of it you can use it, but must be careful how you turn it you don't want your ass to say something like make you carry my burdain or i don't give up or and the paper is out
lol