floating

2006/05/27

floating 2

I'm kind of here… just floating. Now, I really can’t feel my body. is it the pain? is it the fact I had to little of sleep? and even what I had couldn’t be called sleeping I woke up a hundred times always by the same nightmare. was it a nightmare or did I just woke into a cruel reality? I feel the change it’s not like it used to be it’s not like it used to feel. But is it better or worse? I don’t know the answer to that. It’s just different. But I guess it is better than living your life in a lie I guess the truth can never be a bad thing. But still there is that feeling of someone being clown and even if you may hate it, it looks like you’re that person.
The good truth erased the bad lie and everything got back to normal a good selling line. You always end up with a bitter taste in your mouth.
But we all make mistakes. I know I did plenty. So who am I to judge? Who are you to feel bad about judging words of a paranoid woman?
I guess that this is how it goes if you care for someone. You hurt that person and then you can’t stop hurting each other about how hurtful the hurting was.
Being this freak of nature, imperfect person I have no choice but to forgive. And I’m not asking for choices I love the fact that I have nothing to choose from I love the fact that maybe not all is ruined. And if I had a chance to choose I would always choose forgiveness, always choose belief in people, always choose the friendship.
I believe I can…
I believe you can…
And I hope we can…

posted by calamity @ 5/27/2006 12:09:00 pm

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